With my long neck And Big wide tongue I can lap up that hole All day, son.

I’m a favorite of dads everywhere. I can be as short as one line, or as long as a story. I’m known to elicit groans. Sometimes a kind chuckle, or a knee slap if I’m really funny or clever. You may think I’m joking when I say I’m not intended.

Dogs famously do it, Humans wear it, For style or through misuse, I become holy.

Touted as the lowest form of humour, Yet understanding me shows that you're clever. I'm wordplay that often receives little appreciation. For example, I told a chemistry joke, but got no reaction!

I am the art you've perfected while achieving nothing at all. You're reading this riddle instead of doing what you should be doing right now. I'm your best excuse and your worst habit. What am I?