I can be seen covered in hair, but I cannot match the size of a bear. You might see me in a drag bar, giving you a stare..

I’ve battled kings that look like Godzilla. My greatest rival is a barrel chucking Gorilla. I wear many suits, like a cat or a frog. And people debate who’s a greater mascot, me or some hedgehog.

You say just one? That’s cute, good try, but once I crunch, your hand will fly. You grab another, to dip with glee, a sudden split, and now there’s two sad bits of me.

When pulling out to discuss or circling back 'round I'm a must. Low hanging fruit faced while you're touching base: a bizz language flirting with cuss.

I'm bald and fat and shed greases. I've proclivities interspecies. I give gratitude, with a threesome most lewd, In front of your nephews and nieces.