I exist simply because I can't take the pressure. It's too much, man. I just gotta erupt and let off some steam, but if I don't, then things are just quiet. TOO quiet.... I want to live, not just be named and sometimes timed, if I'm consistent enough! And even though I don't spit fire, people don't take me seriously and they get way too close. Darwin Award winners.

Will you, please, stop that! Please, stop that! I should've gotten a dog.... Should've gotten a dog.

One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, we're gonna do this around the clock tonight.

You stare at me while I spin your food, as if supervision makes me work faster.

I look like it, swim like it and quack like it. So I might as well be considered a ...